I'm finding this journey to be much harder than originally anticipated. Perhaps I was being too idealistic, or naive. Regardless, I have to say.... I hate where I am right now. Not just on my life journey, but geographically as well. We're living in a tiny house with no furniture, attempting to cook with 1 frying pan and a small pot, and eating off of the 2 appetizer plates we have and the plastic bowls we bought at the store. The city could be described as borderline ghetto, with absolutely nothing to do within safe walking distance. To make things worse I am left alone in this empty house for hours on end while M and Z (our roommate and the owner of this house) go off and spend the income we don't have on fast food, nerf guns, and beer.
Our transition from military life to civilian life has not been smooth, for any of us. M's PTSD is worse than ever, and to make matters worse, Z lives like the typical bachelor and does not discourage M from acting the same way. For some reason I thought it would be different - different from the first time he got out, different from before we were married - but it's not. The difference is now we are married, and we have a so who gets to be caught in the wake of this storm. But the actions are the same.
This is seriously trying my patience, my sanity, my devotion. I'm miserable, truly miserable, and I don't know how long it will be before things get better...
