All the King's Horses and all the King's Men

I'm lost. Completely and utterly lost.
I'm having (yet another) existential breakdown.

My life is definitely at a standstill. I'm back living with my parents in an environment I absolutely despise, surrounded by caustic comments about how terrible I am - apparently sloppy and self-centered, and most certainly not going anywhere with my life. My job pays me around $800/ month in a city where rent alone is at cheapest $600.
I have 2 degrees, neither of which I'm utilizing. Am I simply making excuses for myself?

My boyfriend has simply stopped talking to me, apparently completely apathetic to those nights I've spent crying myself to sleep, wishing he would care enough to pick up the phone or even send me a message online. It's ironic . . . how I could just end it, if only I could get a hold of him.

I hate where I am, but I don't know where to go. I don't know what state I want to live in, or even what country. (I hate the typical American and what this country has become). I don't even know what I want from this life.

I mean, I do. I want a family... but how can I move forward with something that doesn't even have prospect?

I'm an emotional failure right now. My spirit is spiraling into darkness...

and there's no light in sight.