I try not to let it show, try to hide how disappointed I really am sometimes. I'm tired of sitting at home alone, tired of having to constantly clean up after not only myself but my husband and his friends, tired of trying to find ways to get out of this house and not succeeding. I'm tired of seeing on facebook all the people who are having so much fun going out to dinner, or going to Luau's, or the beach, or museums, or hiking, or any number of things. And I don't know which hurts more sometimes - the fact that we are almost never invited to these things, or the fact that when I try to invite people out there is always some reason why they can't. And I'm not saying that they aren't always legitimate reasons, but the end result is always the same - me sitting at home alone. My husband is still terrified of public places, and with his sore hips and knees most physical excursions like hiking are out of the question. He rarely wants to leave the house, so on weekends it's video games all day..... and where am I? Sitting backseat.
I feel like it's always been this way. Everyone has a best friend and I'm never it. It doesn't help that my celiac disease prevents me from eating out most places or that I'm far enough along in my pregnancy that a lot of physical things are off limits. I feel like I'd just be holding people back. ::Sigh:: I feel like there's always some option that's better than me.
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