It seems kind of fitting that this works not only as the age old cliche, but for the weather as well. It has been pouring intermittently, which normally I would relish in, but the lack of sunshine has been getting to me I think.
It's been a rough couple of days for me emotionally.
It started with an e-mail I got from the hubs a few days ago. I had written him, asking him to take care of some of the financial issues we've been having, namely a $20k bonus the military has owed us for 3 years along with a credit card that his recruiter opened in his name which has been past due and collecting interest for about 2 years now. Both pretty big things in my opinion. His response? "I love you, but you can be a real spaz"
No response to any of the e-mails talking about how much I missed or loved him, how our son got his first tooth (which, yay! finally!), or anything else. And he hasn't responded to any e-mails I've sent since.
Yesterday I took a trip into the past by looking at old photos, e-mails, letters, etc from back when we first started dating. I had one of his letters in my pocket so that I could take it out and read it. After a day of wallowing and resisting the urge to buy ice cream I decided to clean a bit and do laundry to make me feel better. Liam went to bed pretty soundly and slept for 6 hours straight, so it felt like a good night.
This morning I got my jeans out of the dryer to find his letter, crumbled to bits. I lost it, just burst into tears.
And on top of everything I feel like a fat blob. My goal was to lose all the baby weight before the hubs got home, but I feel like I'm moving in the opposite direction. No matter how much I exercise I don't feel like I'm losing anything. Maybe I'm PMSing for the first time in well over a year. It would explain the bloating and carb cravings, and the moodiness. Whatever it is, I don't like it, and I want it gone.
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